Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours
by melinda08
Summary: Set in I heart New York. When Big is set to move to Napa, Carrie must decide whether or not to have one last night with him. Will he change his mind about leaving? Big comes up with a solution that surprises everyone.


Carrie couldn't believe it. Big was moving to California. Napa to be exact. And the worst part was he wasn't even going to tell her. After everything they had been through he had just up and packed and was going to leave without so much as saying a word to her. How could he do this to her? Didn't she warrant a goodbye? She thought that he had loved her, but now she wasn't so sure. They had had their ups and downs, that was for sure. And now it was ending just like this, like something someone would see in a B movie. This was breaking her heart.

Big was the love of her life. And he was leaving. This didn't seem real. His apartment was so empty. What was she going to do without the drama, without the larger than life presence that he filled in her life? He was Mr. Big after all. Her friends may have disagreed with a lot of her decisions but she did love him. He drove her crazy with madness, with passion, with anger, with craziness, but he was hers to love, and he was leaving. This couldn't be real.

Who was she going to call at two in the morning? She would have other men, she always had. But they weren't the same as Big. No one got to her the way he did. No matter what he did she'd always assumed they would wind up together. Their future was never guaranteed, their relationship was never based on promises. But somehow that's what made it exciting. There was the suspense of never knowing whether he was coming or going. But now he was going, permanently. And it made her so sad.

Carrie had been depressed before, but she knew this would sink her into a depression in which she had never seen before. She'd seen men come and go before and she had vowed that she would never again let a man get her down, especially Big. He'd played games with her heart so many times. But every time she'd swore that she'd never deal with him again somehow he found a way to wrangle a way back into her life again. Sometimes she hated herself for it. But she could never stay mad at him for long. She loved him too much to stay mad at him for too long. Theirs was a great love affair, one for the books. Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton had nothing on them. Miranda didn't quite understand why she put herself through all the drama, and Carrie didn't care to analyze it too much. He was hers, and now he was leaving. And he didn't think he owed her the courtesy of saying goodbye.

Moon River. She must have listened to it a dozen times. That would forever be ingrained as their song. Carrie didn't know if it was a thoughtful gesture or a way to torture her. She didn't know if he understood the meaning of their last dance. She would always have that to remember him by. The record even smelled like him- classy and expensive. She'd held it close to her for longer than she cared to admit. Miranda and Samantha would probably laugh at her, but Charlotte would appreciate the gesture. Charlotte always got her love for Big.

Now she was torn. Should she go back for one last night with Big? That might haunt her for the rest of her life. On the other hand she might hate herself in the morning. She might have something to remember him by. Carrie knew that she already had priceless memories of all of their intimate moments together. But what was the point of one last tryst? Would it torture her knowing that she could never hold him again, or would she be grateful for the precious memory of the last kiss, the last hug, the last time?

She'd asked herself time and time again, knowing that time was running out. Carrie had asked the girls that question but hadn't come up with any real answers. Finally she decided that she couldn't handle it. It would hurt too much knowing that she would have him only for the night when really she would want him for a lifetime.

She went to bed early, hoping to pretend that this wasn't happening. She woke up, startled. It was midnight. She couldn't do this. She had to hear his voice one last time.

As if it were fate, the phone rang.

"Where have you been, kid?"

"I've been asleep."

"I've been waiting for your phone call."

"I didn't think you'd notice."

"What do you mean? I'm leaving tomorrow. Of course I'd notice that you hadn't called," Big told her.

"Well you thought I wouldn't notice that you moved," Carrie replied sarcastically.

"Ouch. I deserved that."

"Yes, you did."

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

"I just woke up. I couldn't sleep."

"Me neither. I was thinking about you. I was hoping you would come over."

Carrie paused. This was the moment of truth. "I don't think you deserve it. You are leaving me."

"I know I don't deserve it but I'm asking you. Will you please come over?"

She never could resist him. "Okay." She hung up the phone and got dressed.

The didn't say a word. Carrie ran into his arms and kissed Big passionately. He ran his fingers though her long hair and then he picked her up off the ground, effectively sweeping her off her feet. They moved to Big's bedroom, where the bed was the only remaining furniture, where they madly made love. She tried not to cry in the aftermath.

"What's wrong, kid? What's with the tears?" Big asked.

"I'm not crying."

"You can tell me. You can tell me anything."

"I swore I wouldn't do this. I'm not going to make a big deal about you moving. I would hate myself for it and I would hate you for making me cry. I already hate you just a little bit," Carrie told him.

"I don't want you to hate me. You mean the world to me."

"If I mean the world to you how could you do this to me? You are leaving and you don't have the courtesy of saying goodbye!"

Big looked at her. "Maybe it's because you mean everything to me. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you so I thought it was better to run than to lose you."

"That doesn't make sense. You've always been afraid of commitment. What is it about me that you won't commit to?"Carrie pulled away from him.

Big pulled her back. "Hey, come here. You know, I don't know. I've made a lot of mistakes and I think that losing you would be the biggest one of my life. Come with me to California."

Carrie was shocked. "I can't. I love New York. My life is here and my friends are here. I would give up everything and I just can't do that."

"Then maybe I should give up everything for you."

Carrie looked at him. "What are you saying?"

"Carrie, I have made a lot of mistakes. I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been thinking that moving to Napa would be the second biggest mistake of my life. Losing you would be the first biggest one. I know that I've done a lot of things that have hurt you and I don't deserve you. This probably isn't the best time to ask you but I know that you're the one for me, kid. Carrie Bradshaw, will you marry me?"

Carrie was stunned. This wasn't what she was expecting. She thought that she would be losing Big forever and here he was, proposing marriage. There was no doubt in her mind what her answer would be.

She kissed him. "John James Preston, I would love to marry you."

In the summer of the following year, they were married. It was a simple wedding, attended by only the girls. What started by a crisis turned out to be one of the happiest times of Carrie's life. It turned out that Big loved New York after all.


End file.
